Not For Broadcast

The Epic Disaster of Not For Broadcast: My Time as a Fumbling News Director

Still trying to figure out how I survived my stint as a fictional news channel's director in "Not For Broadcast" (NFB). Developed by NotGames, this wonderful chaos engine tested my patience, sanity, and ability to multitask. Here is the actual thrilling ride to recount my hilarious and often disastrous experience with NFB.

Initial Impressions: The World's Worst News Director

As I started the game, I was thrown into a cheery, 8-bit-inspired interface that promised to deliver a "sizzling" experience. I'm not sure what the developers were trying to do here, but I think "sizzling" might have been code for "your sanity will slowly be roasted over an open flame." My character, a cheerful but clueless news director, was eager to take the helm and showcase their. um. unique leadership skills.

Gameplay: Where Multitasking Goes to Die

The gameplay loop is delightfully straightforward: manage your news team, keep your audience engaged, and avoid making your station's reputation implode. Sounds easy, right? Wrong. As the news director, I had to juggle (literally) a dozen or so tasks simultaneously:

• Interviewing guests who often devolved into incoherent rants
• Managing a team of incompetent journalists who frequently got into fistfights or accidentally set the newsroom on fire
• Dealing with pesky sponsors who expected timely commercials, but often had their product pitches ruined by my team's antics
• And, of course, trying to maintain some semblance of journalistic integrity while dealing with censors who seemed determined to suppress all information that didn't fit their agenda

The Team: A Cast of Characters (and I Mean That Literally)

My news team was a diverse, to say the least, group. We had:

• A journalist who was obsessed with cats and would often get distracted by pictures of felines
• A news anchor who seemed to think that shouting at the camera was an effective communication strategy
• A producer who was sure that the way to go was to use more exclamation points
• And a camera crew always secretly competing with each other to film the weirdest, most irrelevant footages

Challenges and Consequences: Where Sanity Goes to Die

NFB delights in playing curveballs: unexpected guest appearances, sudden equipment failures, and (my favorite) an endless stream of absurd, last-minute news events that would test my team's (and my) capacity to think on their feet. Failure was always just a hair's breadth away, and the game lovingly documented every embarrassing moment.

Achievements and Progression: The Siren's Call of "Just One More Level"

The more I played, the more new challenges unlocked, and even teams and, eventually, the most sought-after "Director of the Year" award. Each level had new mechanics, new team members, and (of course) new opportunities for disaster. I was laughing more and more at my team's and my own failures, enjoying the game's wittiness and poking fun at my ineptitude.

The Verdict: Not For Broadcast - Is It Worth Your Time?

In summation, the game is very deliciously chaotic, hilarious at times, but infuriating if you have more patience than sanity. I as a news director was an unmitigated failure, but still, I'll not trade in that experience.

If you like satirical games, absurd humor, or just want to experience the thrill of watching your team's ineptitude spiral out of control, then NFB is the perfect game for you. Just. just don't say I didn't warn you.

Rating: 4.5/5 stars (I'd give it a 5, but that would mean admitting I'm actually competent, and that's just not true)

Postscript: The News Director's Therapy Sessions

If you do feel emotional or anxious after playing NFB, please consult a professional. Or, you know, just keep watching cat videos. Your sanity will thank you.