Toybox Turbos

Toybox Turbos. This one is a racing game. Why did I pick up this game knowing well that I hate racing games? First of all because it was region restricted, secondly because I liked how graphics looked. But most of all because this is Micro Machines games. I used to love playing it on NES, there is something about playing as something small in a place where is everything is so big. Same fun as Monsters in My Pocket, but I’ll be honest Monsters in My Pocket is far better game than this.

Anyway there is no plot just racing so we going straight to the gameplay section. First we buy a toy car in the classic package that is so satisfying to unbox. We can see the cars stats (The stats are bullshit and barely mean what the try to make us believe). Then we can paint it a little bit to customize. Then we pick a cup to play. There are seven of them each dedicated to special category of cars. Like we start with public transport car and end up with sport cars. Then we have to beat couple of races. There different kind of challenges that awaits us. We have a classic “get in the first place, 3 laps”. Then we have time qualification where we need to beat the track in the qualifying time.  There is also “takeover”, where we have to drive fast till we take over the necessary amount of cars. Then there is an “escape”, we need to drive fast from the wave of destruction for certain amount of mileage. There is also a countdown challenge, as achievements say, but I haven’t encountered it yet after 3 cups. Guess I will find one in the last 4. Lastly there is boss battle. In boss battle we need to win via two ways. We either drive so far ahead that we leave boss behind the screen or we destroy the opponent’s car. Right there are also some pickups we can get via present box during some of the races. The power ups are: Machine gun, electric zap, magnet, jet turbine, mines, and hammer. Hammer IMO is the best because it can trash opponent’s car in 1 hit. Another thing that is needs to be mentioned is that you can’t use car of one category in the cup of another category which makes boss cars are useless well nearly useless. 

Lastly I wanted to say how quickly I went from “Whoa this is so beautiful, cars look cool, and the gameplay is co calming and fun” to “FECK FECK FECK!!! FECKING BULLSHIT THIS CAR HANDLES LIKE ASS! A SINGLE BUMP AND I GO COMPLETELY MOTIONLESS WHILE HE JUST PHASING THROUGH EVERY OBSTACLE! WHY DO I HAVE 6 IN HADNLING BUT I CAN’T STILL STIR FOR SHIT! HOW THE HELL DOES HE DRIVES SO MUCH BETTER THEN ME? HOW DOES HE DRIVES COMPLETELY WITHOUT SKIDDING? HE MAKES SHARP TURNS LIKE A FECKING TRON BIKE? IS THERE NO MOMENTUM OR INERTION FOR HIM? ”. And that is only boss of the third cup. And I know it’s going to get far worse so I’ll stop playing before my head explodes from anger and frustration. There is also online multiplayer but the servers were shut down. So you won’t lose much by skipping this one.