Cataegis : The White Wind

Cataegis the White Wind. This one is action platformer. It’s a game made by south American fans of Ninja Gaiden I think, because I can smell unfair bullshit made in South America miles away. I gave it an honest 7 attempts and couldn’t get past first level. I managed to get to the first boss once. This isn’t a fecking “I Wanna Be The Guy” to be this bullshit. And people in Brazil and Portugal doesn’t know do not know when to stop with their bullshit difficulty that should stay in a fecking romhacks sphere.

So I’m going to skip the plot part BECAUSE I DON’T FECKING KNOW THE PLOT OF THIS GAME! One fecking level and all I saw was some moron in a stupid plastic Magneto’s helmet. There is no moment to breathe, no moment to think, no time to evade all the bullshit enemy throws at you. You're just shat out in the game and enemy already beating you. Sure there is a tutorial but that doesn’t help with the bullshit the game has, just controls. The controls are okay I guess.

Whatever this review is going to be a short one so let’s talk why this game is bullshit. So you have two lives, 5 hits each life and you respawn right where you die. That’s good don’t you think? There are infinite continues, that’s good right? Yes it is? Enemies do not respawn, that is very good? Yes it is. So why this game is bullshit? Apart from what I’ve already said. 5 hits are not enough, 2 lives are not enough. Enemies are fast, enemies throw projectile attacks at you. You do not have a range attack apart from long blue blade and even that is not enough. Enemies are also love to shower you with barrages of homing missiles and you can only slice them to prevent damage. But that doesn’t always work and more often you are too busy with other things to pay attention to homing missiles. I’m talking about second screen mid boss. It’s boat cannon system. Lower part of it aimed at your legs. It’s twin machine gun. Middle part is twin cannon that do a big blast (That you can't duck under only slide under) and upper part is homing missiles that shits out missile every 2 seconds. So pattern goes like this: missile, big blast, missile, machine gun bursts, missile, repeat. There is too much shit and too few lives to do anything but repeating the same fecking shit over and over till you do less mistakes because you do not have reflexes of 12 year old kid high on corn syrup. There is no room for mistake, your concentration slips, you’re dead, And I noticed such pattern in a couple of south American romhacks and indie games. 

I get that those people grew up with “old school” platformers from Sega and NES but those game weren’t so full of cheap bullshit deaths. Who were the play testers for this game? Didn’t they have a moment at which they thought “You know this moment is bullshit maybe tone down on difficulty?” How many nerve cells do I have to lose before they learn? That’s why Greenlight was shut down. God I’m so tired of game like this. That’s it no pluses just minuses, good day to you sir.